3 Worst habits for Men and How to Overcome Them
Ko Hara Lan photographed by Chris Vellrath
I created this blog post while driving 8 hours down the coast of New England. This just shows that we cannot wait until we have the perfect set of circumstances to start sharing our message, to start living our dreams, to go for what we want! If we wait until the conditions are perfect we will never get very far. We'll always have an excuse, we'll always have a reason to hold ourselves back.
So that's one thing that I didn't include in these three worst habits for men and how to overcome them is this habit of Procrastination. We're going to be talking about a lot of P’s in this post. Procrastination is one killer for sure.
If you read to the end of this post, I'm not only going to talk about the habits, but I'm going to talk about three qualities that we can develop that are like GOLD!
They not only help to break the bad habits, but they will massively assist us in developing ourselves as the men that we want to be. I'm gonna share a lot of really in-depth, powerful information in this post and my aim is for you to use it, to do something with it to make some changes in your life!
If you do that, then you're actually going to take action, which is more than 99 of the people that watch these videos. They just take it in they listen they it makes them feel good, but they're just consuming information.
Ok, let’s get started: Number One - PORN.
Pornography is incredibly debilitating for men. It will suck your testosterone and drain your energy. There's a major refractory period when you look at porn and you jerk off to porn - excuse my French - it's going to debilitate your energy. It sucks your sense of masculine power right out, you just shoot it all out and then you’ve got nothing. No Gas in the tank - nothing to put into your vision, your goals, your dreams, your relationship.
If you are in a relationship and you're jerking it to porn, that's a massive intimacy killer. You're not going to have attraction for your girl when you're with her, you're going to be thinking about these images in your head. You're going to be constantly visualizing and comparing and so you're not present, which means you're not able to actually feel your body. When we're running images in our minds and seeing the women in our heads, instead of actually being present with the woman that we are with in the moment, this is a relationship killer. It's a connection killer and an intimacy killer.
It really objectifies women in an incredibly negative way as well. It makes them look like property instead of actual human beings, instead of actual Spiritual Beings that have something more to offer than just their bodies, than just their looks.
Side note: bodies and looks are great! Women should take care of their bodies. I think that people should take pride in their appearance, not just let themselves go, not caring about how they look or how they present to the world. Dressing sloppily, looking sloppy, letting your body go sloppy, not taking care of yourself - all of these things are pathetic.
You are responsible for the way that you appear in this moment and how you present yourself to the world, but we don't want to just see people as objects, something material that I want to acquire. Because this dehumanizes them.
Additionally, today’s men can be easily controlled and manipulated by a woman’s sexual prowess and energy. If you find yourself as a man easily manipulatable by women sexually this is a problem. So as long as you're wanking it to porn you're gonna find yourself more and more subject to this type of manipulation if you ever do find yourself managing to get into a good relationship you're gonna [ __ ] it up you know you're going to lose everything that you gain with this type of habit so porn get rid of it stop it it's not even a moral issue although there's definitely a moral issue as well I'm not even getting into the spiritual aspect of it again this is I could go on and on and on just about this one topic alone but just on the Practical physical sides it's not good it's very very debilitating stop do not do it number two dating apps get off the dating apps they are incredible times suck you are wasting your time you're wasting your money you're going out and seeking seeking seeking you're constantly getting that validation that dopamine hit that sheep dopamine ooh it's like in a message and it's again it's pathetic it's pathetic now there are I'm sure there's going to be exceptions to this rule I know sometimes people will find the Perfect Mate for themselves but this is incredibly rare and it's definitely not something you want to gamble on it's like taking all of your savings and US playing the lottery with it because there is that rare rare chance that maybe you'll hit it but if we bet on things that have a an incredibly low possibility of working out for us this is not good right we're going to lose what we have we're going to waste our time we'll eventually find ourselves broke.
You know what have we gained from this we got a few moments of excitement uh we got to feel like we were validated because somebody swiped on us it's like get your validation from inside get your validation from what you actually do and create in this life from living your purpose and that's another P we're going to get into after I talk about these habits so dating apps guys get off the dating apps what are you doing really think about it why are you on there probably because you were afraid to be alone right it's a big one big one I don't want to be alone so I'm going to go and go and search and search and see if I can shop around and find a woman again the incredible waste of time and it just it puts me in this mindset of like again it's like it's objectification of women like I just swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe nothing that I can see in that moment is going to tell me whether or not this person is really a good fit but if I connect with somebody in person I can actually feel their energy I can feel someone's energy when I'm in proximity to them here's another P for you when I'm in close proximity with someone when I'm speaking with someone not in a zoom not on a face time I mean yeah you can get a little bit better uh approximation of who they are as a person but it's nowhere near what you can get from being in personal space with somebody nowhere near nowhere near not close I have friends with me well I can get a sense of this person by having a face time with them and these are the same people that haven't had a solid relationship in years or maybe ever and you're constantly like every time I talk to them I'm like oh man I'm still joining the dating thing not working out for me.
So no you can't you're gonna waste time you're gonna be attracting the wrong type of people people are not good fits for you and again guys I'm really only speaking to a certain type of man right now I'm not speaking to all men because a lot of men are just going to disagree with me and they're just and and maybe they're right because who they are and who they want to be is not the person that I am trying to reach with my videos with my message with my organization with my teachings I don't care if this doesn't resonate with you then whatever's you know X this video out unsubscribe give me a thumbs down I don't give a [ __ ] what you do because I'm not speaking to you I'm speaking I'm speaking of men to whom this connects with to whom this like it maybe irritates you to hear these words because you know that it's true and maybe part of your mind is just searching for reasons to argue with me but that's just your mind throwing up smoke screens because it doesn't want to admit that the way you've been living is not in accordance with who you are as a man with who you're born to be with who you're destined to be who is great greatness is inside of you and that's what I'm trying to call forth with this message get off the dating apps delete them start developing confidence and the certainty that you know you know when you are ready the woman will appear in your life when you are ready the woman will appear she's not going to appear because you've searched the globe looking for her you will appear because you have become the type of man that she finds irresistible number three pills first of all I'm going to caveat this I am not a medical doctor I have no business according to our society getting medical advice however this is a public forum and I am perfectly legally entitled to share my opinions on the matter and so I'm not speaking to someone who is dealing with Incredible psychological issues I'm dealing with people who are dealing with like anxiety uh depression mild depression maybe things like this bipolar maybe they've been diagnosed as things like this if you're taking pills to cover up these problems because you've been told that this is the way to treat them I highly encourage you to get off of them and this might take time it's an individual process but I can tell you this if you're taking psychotropic Pharmaceuticals in order to manage your emotions you're doing yourself an incredible disservice and you will never ever develop emotional stability you cannot regulate emotional stability by imposing uh circumstances by taking substances into your body you cannot do it I've tried you can't do it you will fail it's not possible because what you're doing is you're trying to force a result by taking a foreign object a foreign substance into your body that messes with your whole chemistry what it actually does is it numbs you it doesn't regulate you it prevents you here's another P it prevents you from actually experiencing your emotions and if you don't experience your emotions there's no way that you can transform them release them and stabilize them you cannot do it and you will forever be a slave to these things that's what the pharmaceutical companies want that ensures that they stay in business forever and can make massive profits off of you another P they profit from your demise from your weakness they profit so they want they are heavily invested in this idea of enslavement through pharmaceutical use and again this is just it it saddens me to see how weak people become through these practices so make it a point to develop emotional stability there's many many ways that you can develop this it's not easy it's not the easier way in terms of what you have to do and what you have to work at is what you have to develop and become as a man in order to overcome these things the easy way is to just put the blinders on bury your head in the sand and just you know live your life like you just wanna.
And have the easiest ride until you meet your grave but that's a disgusting way if you ask me it's a pathetic waste of a human life.
So it's gonna take work you're gonna have to learn you know emotional releasing you're gonna have to learn Maybe Qigong Tai Chi
These are incredible practices to develop emotional stability and strength uh but there are many there are infinite numbers if if you're interested you a simple Google search will point you at some things to try and just try a number of things try try try until you start to get results when you get results from a process that you find it's like a that's another one incredible incredible at regulating the emotions and developing stability and also many other things like developing who you are as a person reaching your goals enhancing your spiritual life create a greater connection with the Divine Sedona Method is another one but there are numerous numerous ones those are just my favorites the ones that I found in my 20-year search to be the best Bob meditation is another one also but meditation is a dubious subject I don't want to get into that right now because there's so much bad information about meditation there's so many people talking about meditation that don't even know what meditation is so I'm not even going to get into that one that's for another video but so I've talked about the three major killers of the man of the Modern Man corn pills and dating sites I didn't know I I had a word for that that started with a p but I didn't want to be crude um and it was that was maybe also dehumanizing so I didn't want to use that word either because it's not appropriate to look at women like that but when you're looking on dating sites let's face it that is how you're viewing women you know you know property we could say now as promised I told you that I would reveal three qualities that are immensely potent at overcoming those negative habits and also at creating you into being the man that you were born to be and having the life that you want to have by being proud to look in the mirror and say you know this guy right here he is a man that I am proud to know I've seen his journey I've known how far he's come I've known his battles his struggles everything he's been through all the challenges everything he's overcome everything he's had to face all the mistakes that he's made all the harm that he's done to himself and others but he transformed he turned his life around and I am proud to know this man three things that I found indispensable incredibly encouraging in bolstering and empowering on this path are dialing in these three p's instead they are practices number one practice practice what are your daily practices that support you in moving toward the goals that you have to the vision that you have to living your purpose and to becoming the man you were born to be for yourself for your world for your woman for your family.
For your community for everything and everyone most importantly God and yourself practices what practices are you developing that support this practice is number one in my book every day practice practice practice make it the first thing you do in the morning if you do this you will never regret it you will make massive progress as another p number two principles what are the principles that you are living your life according to the values that you esteem right the morals and the ethics that you live your life by the things that you would die for rather than break rather than violate these codes that you live by what are they have you defined them do you know what they are can you repeat them in a moment's note I can I have eight of them I live my life by eight I would amend contemplate meditate think about this think about the men that you respect and honor and think about the qualities that they have and then make it a point to develop these qualities within yourself at a very very high level and work at this every day of course you're going to falter none of us are perfect another P it's not about perfection it's about constant progress about holding yourself accountable about being honest not bullshitting yourself.
But progressing developing and being able to demonstrate these qualities more and more and how can you really know when you've demonstrated them or when you have them it's because when life throws curveballs at you when things get hard you rely on these principles you rely on them it's how you live your life.
This makes a man incredibly powerful and unshakable lastly purpose what is your purpose why are you here have you discovered it have you asked this question even have you started down the path of self-discovery why are you here what were you put on this Earth to do or to become.
And don't just say well, I serve my purpose you know I did that you know I I had kids uh or or I have a job that you know pays the bills you know that's my purpose no those things can be part of your purpose but it has to be deeper than that it has to be something deeper more meaningful it has to serve the world and it has to be ongoing you can't just say I did that I live on purpose now I'm kicking back and enjoying things you should enjoy your life yes but one of the greatest there's no greater enjoyment than knowing that you are a hundred percent on purpose living your life in alignment with your values principles so you don't just have the principles but your life is in alignment with those principles on all levels practice principles and purpose these things will guide you and they will help you to overcome any challenge it will never fail you if you invest in them they will be there for you in your darkest hour and they will be the fuel that drives your life to the highest peaks that's the last P I'm going to mention take your life to the highest peak.
And don't just go there solo find purpose and help others to elevate themselves however that looks in your life it will be different from mine different from anyone else don't compare to anyone.
Let's see what you can come set the bar as high as you possibly can and then reach it these three will take you there that's all I got for this video thank you for watching much love one more thing I want you to comment below subscribe to this channel if this is speaking to you leave a comment leave a thumbs up but most importantly take this information and do something with it do something with it make a change and then I want to hear about it I want to know what change did you make and how did this affect your life if you're stuck reach out I'm here to help I don't just do this for my own ego I do this because I love to help people that's my purpose I love to serve I love to teach I love to elevate and instruct and uplift others that's my purpose so if you're struggling reach out if you're sincere I am here for you if you're here to complain I don't have time for you go see the pill doctor he can listen to you he's got something for you not me I'm speaking to the men who want to elevate and I love you guys I'm here for you you inspire me with your own growth and dedication every day I will see you soon until then first live video so gotta figure out how to end it much love see you soon.
